In Memory of My Student!

This was a piece of writing by one of my students who was no longer in this world because of a terrible accident a few years ago (perhaps in 2005). She was a student of K35 in the English Department. She wrote it in my Writing lesson in which I told all my students to start writing with the word SOMETIMES.

I always have a strong feeling when I read it. Today, I would like to share with you. To tell you the truth, I've never carried this activity again since that bad news.


Sometimes ………


Sometimes, my life seems to be meaningless. That occurs when I have too much failure. I know that life always gives me trials and never welcomes me. The Bible says that, “Every opening door and immense ways also lead to the decline”. It means that people have to pass the challenges if they want to be glorious. But whimsically, I am a person of fantastic hopes and my ideas are often away from the reality now and then. So, even a small challenge can make me lose all my hopes. Do you know that I need you beside me on our way to the future? But you came and went away. You leave me alone in the broken world. I am not myself as my heart was stolen by you.

Sometimes, I wander on the streets in cold winds. I feel too cold. The coldness makes my soul freezing and callous forever, but I don’t feel lonely when I miss you. I bury my remembrances in the bottom of my heart. I am happy when I know that you are happy. Don’t think that I am a high-minded person. I am not. I am selfish. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want anybody to love you except me, but I can do nothing when you don’t love me anymore. I know I will not fell cold without you, I will not be lonely when I see people hands in hands. I realize that it is hopeless if I still miss the one who never misses me. Sua flowers in Hanoi could keep you for me and one day they also can’t keep me here. I will go to another place where I feel wretched. You know, I will go …… .

Sometimes, I think idly as if what I think of is in my last dreams. Everything is mixed up and it does not exist. That is the way I cultivate for our love so that I will love you more and more when we are together.

My, dear! There were times that I call “Sometimes”.

By Nguyen Hong Tham - Hanoi 2001.